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Why Children Learn to Lie…? Part 1

The results of Hypno-Quiz 3 are as follow: 1.b, 2.c, 3a, 4.a, 5.b, 6.b, 7.b, 8c, 9.a, 10.b

Have you ever wondered why you own child may lie to you as they grow up…?

If you think the best liars are politicians, estate agents and lawyers you would be flat out wrong because recent investigations have revealed that the group of people most qualified in the art of lying is children. I know what you are thinking, my child does not lie, but many of us parents still imagine that our children are angelic or enveloped in some aura of innocence that somehow exempts them from any wrong doing. I feel that perhaps it can be the fault of the adult as we encourage the child to love to live fantasy and imagining, however there comes a point where the stories from a child’s imagination can go way beyond the realms of reality and turn in to lies.

Therefore, how are we able to separate the difference between what is a white lie and a downright big fat one? Why does a child lie in the first place and if  a parent indulges their offspring in this type of action will it result in the children growing up in to adults who are complusive liars?

It is important in starting off with understanding that children learn to lie in order that they do not get caught out or blamed for some specific activity/action or get punished for their behaviour, so lying is a skill that children gradually develop. Another clear reason is that children like to impress and show off to their friends and peers, so there are frequent occasions where children, especially adolescents, who will deliberately tell an untruth to create a good or ‘cool’ image to their friends. Yet if I go further than this there are still a group of youngsters, who deliberately take part in lying to others way too much. So why is that?

Recent studies have shown that one reason for children to lie is connected to their self-esteem and emotional confidence or should I say a lack of it. When a child has become what is known as a chronic liar this is usually someone with a low sense of worth and value of themselves. The advantage of repeatedly lying is that it allows the child to gain a greater sense of well-being and a stronger sense of identity in the eyes of others, almost like a mask.

Another factor is down to getting attention and a response from the parent/s.  When a child is in their early years they are encouraged by adults to indulge and play in make-believe, however after learning and repeating this form of behaviour there suddenly comes a time when the parent expects the child to know the distinction between a truth and an outright lie. Consciously the child will conform, but the habit of fantasy and story telling will repeat itself subconsciously when the child yearns for more parental attention.

David Power

Medical Hypnsis Expert and Practical Parenting Expert

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