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Romantic Chemistry Revealed

When it comes to finding a good match for a love partner many of us jump in at the deep end or rush to see what lies in the stars. However it has now been revealed by a researcher Helen Fischer that when you read genetic literature on our neurotransmitters and hormones it is possible to show that the brain has evolved four various personalities connected with various chemical systems in the brain which may help humans decide who to choose as a mate. These broad character types are labelled, “The Explorer”, “The Builder”, “The Negotiator” and “The Director”.

The Explorer is associated with increased levels of  dopamine and is usually seen as a risk taker and impulsive, whilst the Builder is personality that is linked to serotonin activity often seen as cautious and loyal. Furthermore, the Negotiator is the result of  raised levels of testosterone  and is seen as someone who is analytical and decisive whereas the Negotiator manifests as someone who is compassionate and imaginative because of large oestrogen levels. Following a sample of over 40, 000 people via match.com, Fischer came up with these conclusions:  Explorers go with explorers most of the time which was quite surprising, however directors go for the negotiators and the negotiators also go for the directors. The builders generally were attracted in general to builders too. Whilst this is not perfect it does form a strong pattern however, Fischer does accept that other factors do affect our mating actions.

‘We tend to fall in love with somebody from the same socio-economic background, same levels of intelligence and looks, same religious values,’ she says.

‘But you can walk into a room where everybody’s from your background and you don’t fall in love with all of them.’I wanted to know why you fall in love with one person rather than another.’Fisher found differences in brain make-up lead us to different partners. ’We all want to trigger that brain system for romantic love and be madly in love,’ she says.’But the Explorer wants somebody who goes adventuring with them.

‘It’s not just jumping off mountains – they’ll want someone who tries new restaurants, who does urban hiking – there are a lot of ways to explore but they want somebody to share it with. They’re looking for a playmate.’Other types have equally specific criteria. ‘The Builder is looking for a help mate, somebody who can help build their social networks with them, help them build home and family. ‘The Director wants a mind mate, someone they can share ideas with. And the Negotiator wants the soulmate: they want to know how you feel, they want to know the intricacies of what you meant by what you just said; they want their partner to ask them how they’re doing.’ As a clinical hypnotherapist I find these results rather insightful to the power of the brain and our genetic preferences, more importantly is how individuals can use this information to be more successful at finding an ideal life partner.

David Power

Medical Hypnosis Expert and Practical Parenting Expert

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